I have this really bad habit of trying to memorize products in stores – what’s carried, where it is, etc. I always hope I’ll remember when I return in search of the elusive item
that my latest recipe is calling for. This really isn’t the best mode of operation to employ if you’re shopping at Walmart. Why, you ask? Because they’re always moving stuff!
Truly, my motto when shopping at Walmart is “buy it when you see it, because you may never see it again.” And I repeat this often to myself when shopping, and to others whenever they use any sentences with the words “Walmart” and “buy” in them.
Here is a typical sentence one might say to me, “I was at Walmart and I saw the cutest *whatever*, I wonder if I should buy it?” Or, “I was in Walmart and they’re carrying my favorite *whatever*, I’ll buy it again next time I’m there.”
Those are two very big no-nos my friends. Remember: “Buy it when you see it, because you may never see it again.” Trust me on this one.
Moving on, a few weeks back I saw two older men looking around frantically for an item in the Pharmacy section of Walmart. Truly, they were in a frenzied state. So I thought to myself, hey, maybe I know where to find what they’re looking for.
Looking back, I should’ve just left this one alone, but hindsight is 20/20 – unfortunately.
So this is how the conversation went:
Me to tall guy: Can I help you find something?
The tall guy then awkwardly flashes a look of questioning shock to the big guy scanning the shelves, desperately looking for him to send him a lifeline to get out of my line of questioning, but the big guy only looks horrified.
Tall guys says: Um, we were just looking for some chigger cream.
Me: What?! Chigger cream? Um, have you tried nail polish? (As I flash an incredulous, and rather suspicious, look at the big guy)
Tall Guy: We tried that last night and it didn’t help, he was up all night itching.
What in the devil were these guys doing??? And why isn’t tall guy itching? Hm. . . . and how does he know the other guy was up all night, and Walmart is open 24 hours . . .
Me: Well, okay then. I’m stumped!
At which point I quickly steer my cart away, partially frustrated that I’ve been stumped. As I’m heading off to the baby section I’m thinking maybe it’s in the lice section (why can’t I let this go? He probably doesn’t even have chiggers). . .so I head back that direction.
Then I see the same two men dart off with urgency towards the check out, and I have a temporary moment of insanity and think of rushing after them to find out where the cream is located. Luckily I regain my senses before engaging in hot pursuit and subjecting them to an interrogation, and decide it would be more prudent (and far less embarrassing) to simply check the lice section, but alas there was no chigger cream.
By this time, their story isn’t looking even remotely credible. Maybe they weren’t really talking about chiggers, maybe it was something way more personal and itchy. One thing I do know, I’m never asking a man if he needs help in the Pharmacy section again. Ever. Lesson learned.
Still looking for some items in your store? Below is a list of a few random items I’ve heard tend to hide in weird locations.
Cheesecloth – the sewing section in the crafts department
Tuna – can be found in Houston in the canned fruit aisle
Twine – perhaps in the hardware section – thanks for the comment Tara!
Empty spray bottles – the mopping aisle or (in the summer) the gardening section
Minced garlic in jars – produce section and sometimes the spices
Horseradish – next to the sour cream
Velveeta – next to the spaghetti sauce (crazy, right?!)
*just for the record, I don’t receive compensation for my posts and they are 100% my opinion!