Inefficiency and Misunderstandings

For those of you who are friends of mine and have already heard my tirade, forgive me. For everyone else, here’s the deal – my husband is all about minimalism, and me, well I’m all about efficiency.  All you mothers out there can no doubt relate – time is at a premium, and efficiency affords me more time.

You know what isn’t efficient? Grocery shopping.

Seriously, it’s the only time that I touch the same thing about 6 times before it ends up getting to where it needs to be, in this case my pantry. Let’s break this down, shall we?

(1) So I pick up cereal to put in my cart with the rest of my groceries, then (2) I put the same cereal on the conveyor belt to be scanned, then (3) I put the bag (with the cereal in it) into my cart. Then I push the cart to my car and (4) grab the bag with the cereal and put it into my car, then I drive home and (5) grab the cereal bag again and take it into my house. Then I (6) take the cereal box out of the bag and I put it on the counter (so inefficient, right? – I should just put it in the pantry, but I don’t). Then (7) I put the cereal box into my pantry where it belongs.

Inefficiency at its finest – and that, my friends, is why I’m completely useless the rest of the day after grocery shopping. Seriously, nothing depletes me faster (physically and mentally) then to aimlessly perpetrate the same repetitive motion without any results.

Speaking of repetition without results, let’s talk about my husband.  He and I don’t communicate well. It’s a well known fact.  We actually both joke that we ended up married as a misunderstanding, we both laugh, but there might be a little bit of truth there.

Case in point, we were driving around the other day looking for a new house/land, and just as we were approaching a realtor sign, this is what unfolds. . .

H: “Do you have the number?”

M: “No, I don’t, but there’s a realtor sign ahead, I’m sure the number is on it.”

H: “Why aren’t you writing the number down?!”

M: “It’s right in front of you! I don’t know why you need me to write it down. Just call it.”

H: “Obviously I can’t call it with the kids being loud in the car. I don’t know what your problem is!  I simply asked you to write down the phone number. Geez”

So now I’m pissed . . .

M: “My problem?! Are you kidding me? I’ll tell you what my problem is, how about the fact that you didn’t ask me to write down the phone number. You asked me if I had the phone number. Those are two very different questions. If you had asked me to write down the phone number in the first place, we wouldn’t be having this problem. But that’s not the question you asked, you asked me if I had it, and I don’t. And quite frankly, that’s a stupid question to ask when the sign with the phone number on it is right in front of you.”

So frustrating. It’s times like these that I can’t wait for him to go on a business trip. so I can have time to center myself, and refocus. It was during one of those trips that I became conscious of the fact that I treat them as if he’s still in the military (minus the imminent possibility of death issue). And by that, I mean that I do whatever I want, whenever I want, well . . . . . mostly anyway.

I still have to take the kids to school, clean the house, and do laundry (you know, the normal stuff), but I can cut chenille in his garage and make a big fuzzy mess, and then I can leave it to clean another day – hypothetically, of course. And I can eat dinner at 5 p.m. because I like eating early, and I can play music in the house and push repeat as many times as I want, and I can thoughtfully ponder all of the useful ways that I could use a chalkboard easel without him scowling over my shoulder at my online shopping cart.

And even better, I can make executive decisions, without accountability to anyone else.  Like whipping out my supermom cape (figuratively, unfortunately) and climbing up the ladder to the attic to retrieve the rocking horse that he made when the kids were little, but refuses to get down for me. He put it up there because the kids were starting to wear it out. Well, the youngest had never seen it, and I’ve been bummed for awhile that she never had the chance, so rather than let that turn into regret, I faced my fear of heights while walking (one foot at a time) across a sparse five inch wide space to get to the horse and see my dreams realized.

And here’s the horse I risked life and limb to get. . .he’s cute right?  The husband made him – it’s one of his hidden talents.

Oh, and I got to plant the flowers that I like, and the herbs that I wanted, and I got to opt out of taking his dogs on a walk and give the kids an early bath (a result of the no dog walking).  I picked out the dirt mat for the front porch without listening to his opinion, and I decided to hire someone to spray the weeds in my yard.

See, I have no problem making decisions by myself, it’s sharing that responsibility that I have problems with.  Sigh.

Here are the dogs – you can see why I don’t want to walk them, right (I mean, aside from the fact that they walked me into some tree branches the last time)?  See that piece of wood in the upper left corner?  That was part of my garden, they think it’s a stick.

Next post will have a recipe, promise!

Baking Tips for Family Fun!

I was thrilled to find out that February is Bake for Family Fun Month, because this is something that I do regularly.  I bake for them, I bake with them, I bake because of them. . .you get the idea!

Here are some solid tips that I’ve learned along the way. . .

1. Choose a recipe you’ve made before (it’s less stressful that way) or

2. Let your child choose a recipe from a children’s cookbook, but you have veto power (I’ve had to use that a few times).

3. If they’re younger than 3, be prepared to let them dump ingredients and stir.

Then when you’re ready to bake, set them at the table with some snacks and a drink while you clean up.  If you’re baking chocolate chip cookies, a little bowl of chocolate chips is a big treat and will usually keep them busy.

4. If they’re older than 3, and there is a group of kids, I’ve found that it’s best to delegate responsibilities ahead of time.

For example, your job is _____, wash your hands, report to  the kitchen, when your part is done you can clean up your area, wash your hands, grab a drink and wait for the treats to get out of the oven.

5. Pre-measure all the ingredients ahead of time for younger kids, and set up work stations for each task.

6. Make sure the jobs are age appropriate and there’s a job for everyone.

For example, if you’re making chocolate cupcakes one can unwrap all the chocolate squares, another can choose the liners and put them in the muffin pan, while another can stir the batter.

7. Have stools ready for every child participating, or work at the kitchen table.

8. Don’t pick a recipe that requires a mixer of any kind (for younger kids).  Stick with a sturdy bowl with rubber on the bottom (to keep it from sliding around) and use a whisk, or wooden spoon.

9. Be prepared for the kids to get messy and eat some of your ingredients and/or raw dough.  It happens.  If you’re relaxed everyone will have more fun, including you!

10.  And finally, supervision of your kids in the kitchen is required!

Here are some perfect baking jobs for young kids based on age:

1 1/2 year olds and Up:

1. Rolling out sugar cookie dough and cutting shapes – this is best if you have a child-sized rolling pin

2. Rolling out pie crust

3. Stirring flour and helping you knead bread dough

4. Adding ingredients to the bowl (pre-measured and/or chopped)

5. Brush dough (using a pastry brush) with olive oil, milk, or egg wash

6. Unwrap chocolate squares and place in a bowl

7. Frost cookies or cupcakes with kid knife (or pastry bag with large opening) and top with decorations.*

*I usually give everyone their own bag (or small plastic bowl) of frosting so I don’t have to worry about germs and crumbs in the frosting!

3 years and Up:

1. Stirring soft dough

2. Mashing bananas with a fork

3. Washing fruit in a colander

4. Cracking eggs in a separate bowl – be sure to wash hands afterwards!

5. Stirring batter

6. Separating cupcake liners and putting them in the muffin pan

7. Crushing graham crackers in a ziploc bag with a rolling pin

6 years and Up:

1. Crimping pastry dough

2. Sifting flour

3. Dusting with powdered sugar

4. Filling pastries or pie crust with jam or chocolate chips

5. Spraying a pan with PAM

8 years and Up:

1. Turning on the oven*

2. Reading a recipe

3. Measuring wet and dry ingredients

4. Using the microwave to melt ingredients (like butter and chocolate)*

5. Cream butter and sugar by hand (or with an electric mixer)*

*Please use discretion when allowing your child to use any appliances in the kitchen!  Supervision is always a good idea.

Now for the fun!  Here are some recipes that are lots of fun to make with the kids, be sure to read through them first and do your prep work – it’ll make it easier – trust me!

Sugar Crusted Brownies

S’more Dipped Marshmallows

Whipped Cheesecake Strawberry Fool - modify this using premade cheesecake in a tub, whip cream in a spray can, and strawberry topping in a can – let them layer it!

Nilla Wafer Custard Shots - modify this using instant pudding, Nilla Wafers, and whip cream in a spray can

Gooey Oatmeal Bars

Edible Candy Necklace

Chocolate Chip Muffins

I just couldn’t resist, so below I’ve listed some suggestions (by age) of cooking jobs for kids.

1 1/2 year olds and Up:

1. Wash and tear up lettuce
2. Stir cool items – like dressing and pasta salad
3. Put meats and cheeses on sandwiches
4. Drop chopped food in a bowl, or a cold pot for cooking
5. Sprinkle sugar on sliced fresh strawberries and stir
6. Remove wrappers from American cheese
7. Put crackers or chips into a ziploc bag for crushing (you may have to hold the Ziploc open while they put the crackers/chips in)

4 year olds and Up:

1. Crush potato chips or crackers (in a Ziploc bag) for breading
2. Snap ends off of beans
3. Help set the table
4. Peel hardboiled eggs
5. Dry lettuce with the salad spinner

6 year olds and Up:

1. Get ingredients out of the pantry and refrigerator
2. Scrub potatoes
3. Cut soft fruit (with a butter knife) – like bananas and pears
4. Spread softened butter, mayo, or peanut butter on bread or dough
5. Use the microwave (with supervision, as needed)
6. Toast bread in the toaster (with supervision) – I have small plastic tongs to remove it.

 8 year olds and Up:

1. Supervised stovetop cooking (such as grilled cheese or stirring pots on the stove)
2. Peel vegetables

Linking to Tidy Mom, Kitchen Fun with My Three Sons, I Heart Naptime

Just That Kind of Week

I know I’ve been MIA lately.  But it’s just been that kind of day, week, . . .month.  You know what I mean, because I’m sure you’ve been there too.  To sum it up I’ll just tell you about my Wednesday.  I ran a few errands, then returned home to my son vomiting on my bedroom carpet (on his way to the bathroom).  He finally made it to the bathroom and continued his business in there.

I was hoping that was it, but it wasn’t.  To spare you the minute by minute details, he vomited the rest of the day – I cleaned the floors no less than five times.  He just couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time, so my husband mentioned that I should give him a trashcan (why didn’t I think of that?).  While that greatly reduced my cleaning, my boy still couldn’t even hold down water - it went in and shortly thereafter it made a return trip back out.

I took him to the doctor – they insisted due to hydration issues.  We got some anti-nausea medicine and went on our way.  More vomiting.  I got the other kids ready for church class and then realized that one of them had to return a square of fabric with a drawing, embroidery, or some kind of picture detailing what gives them peace.  Talk about ironic.

Needless to say (being the super mom I am), I got the kids mixed up, wrote the wrong name on the fabric square, ranted and raved about it.  Then set off to make it right in the ten minutes I had to fix the problem I caused.  Well, you’ll be happy to know that I found a cupcake square I had cut out of an old kids shirt (which works because she said that baking cupcakes gives her peace) and sewed it over the wrong name I’d written (in sharpie, sigh).

I thought I was home-free and that another crisis had been averted, until I flipped it over and realized (miraculously) I’d somehow stitched another piece of fabric to the other side at the same time.  This could only be happening to me!  And I’m not proud of this, but I’m just trying to get by (you understand, right?) so I did what any desperate, tired, overworked mother would do and I just cut out the obtrusive fabric as best I could and sent it on its way.  Shameful (head hanging in defeat), I know, but who’s ever going to see the back of it, right?  Who am I becoming?!  Sigh.

This is what I ended up with. . .

I’ll be back in a few days with food, fun, and a few recipes!